Barbara Marcanti retired in September 2023, then learned her then 100-year-old mother was in the hospital after a trip to Tahiti. Her mother, who had been living alone and still driving, had become too fragile to stay by herself.
Marcanti said her family weighed three options: full-time caregivers at home, a nursing home for over $6,000 monthly, or moving her mother in with one of the children. For the level of care her mother needed, she said it would have cost about $20,000 a month. The family was not in a financial position to cover that.
The result was a move in January 2025. Marcanti took over the daily work, including catching up unpaid bills, managing medical care, and serving as the family advocate. She said her mother had a fear of nursing homes, and that the family had promised years earlier not to place her there if they could avoid it.
That promise has come with a heavy load. Marcanti said her mother broke her neck after a shower slip just after Memorial Day, and that it was hard to find a neurosurgeon willing to evaluate her. She also said she has had to push back against people who 'write her off because of her age.'
Her mother now pays $653 a month for a Medicare supplement and a $77 monthly pharmacy premium, including a related Medicare penalty. She receives Social Security and a small pension from Marcanti's father, but Marcanti said expenses are starting to run beyond that monthly income because of soaring costs.
Still, she said she has no regrets. Her mother plays high-level card games, can add and subtract, and has even been taken on four cruises over the last two years. Marcanti said she wants to give her as many experiences as possible while she can.
For founders and families alike, the math here is simple: longevity is not free. When care becomes too expensive for household budgets, the burden does not disappear. It shifts onto relatives, who become the informal safety net.
That is the real price of retirement in a system where medical costs, housing, and elder care can outpace fixed income. The market penalty lands on families first, and the people who can least afford the disruption end up doing the most work.
